Dr. Agnes Thomas

This reflection is an ongoing conversation with friends with whom I like to debate on the topic of faith and reason. Our discussions show us our strong desire to define and control who God is in our everyday life, followed by an earnest desire to resist these intellectual debates and move into a place of reflection and action. The discussion and our definitional understanding of God never reached us anywhere. However, the conversation of experiencing the presence of God in the mundane things of our daily life in the most extraordinary ways always brought us to a place of gratitude and stillness. One of the recent debates around the topic was, does this everyday experience lead us to bigger and better dreams?

Though faith was fundamental to everyone who participated in these conversations, people were humble enough to acknowledge the human side of things that stopped them. Many of us toiled with the question of what makes many of us aim for small, attainable dreams instead of the world-changing and make your heart go on fire types of goals.  Many themes surfaced in this discussion, such as fear, lack of courage, the need for taking responsibility for words and action, the accountability that comes with bigger plans and goals, how God works with our plans, and the role of prayer/spiritual life in achieving goals in life.

The questions and words that spoke to my spirit during that discussion were as follows:

“Anything is scary and unachievable when you limit it within your knowing reach and bounds.” A real person of faith does not depend on their capabilities or credentials alone, but on God, the ‘Light and Love’ guiding their thoughts and actions. One requirement to acquire such faith is humility; one must be humble enough to accept the truth of who we are as mere humans and a desire to grow in seeking truth. The problem most humans face is not that we don’t believe in God, but our tendency to place God in a little box and define it in ways we can control and carry. For example: when we ask for something in prayer, we make sure to ask for things we can see ourselves capable of doing/getting, not anything out of bounds. Another danger the faithful face is our tendency to connect God to places and people we believe are capable of performing ‘superhuman’ things. When we connect our faith and action to small and everyday things, we can see and connect with God in bigger things and the co-existence of small and significant in our midst. The first and foremost of this principle is “we should not limit God in our little ways but let our faith be deep enough to see things beyond our imagination and the possibilities within our impossibilities. St. Paul summarizes this beautifully in Hebrew 11: 1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

This discussion from some time ago continue to serve as a reminder for me when I think of prayers and unsaid for various things in my life. Sometimes, even before I ask for something in prayer, I ask myself, can I/they do it? Do I/they deserve it?

As I finished this reflection, a more serious thought occurred: If we can only pray for and desire things within our control, why do we need to pray, and what is prayer? When limiting God to our little box, aren’t we defining who and what God is to us?  Instead, should not we focus on cultivating a spirit of curious wonder and gratitude that leads to meaningful plans and dreams with God?

A promise I made in reflecting on our debates continues to influence me. I shall seek freedom and trust in God, who is beyond my imagination and definitions. I am also committed to seeking truth and believing in the possibility of things I cannot imagine or comprehend, even when I doubt myself and do not see the light of the day.

“Prayer in the sense of petition, asking for things, is a small part of it; confession and penitence are its threshold, adoration its sanctuary, the presence and vision and enjoyment of God its bread and wine.” C.S. Lewis